We all know it happens from time to time....that person with the "helpful" parenting advice. Generally my husband & I take the well meaning person's suggestions with a grain of salt & a good temper. But what do you do when people want to act like your kid is THEIR kid & that they not only know what is best, but that they know what is BETTER then you? We've had a few of these run-ins lately & it's starting to border on no longer being well-meaning, but just outright defiance against us as parents.
We are raising our child a certain way. Our baby boy is breastfed. Yes, he has had formula & yes he will take certain types of formula if needed. IF NEEDED seems to be the part that my MIL is ignoring. Tell me if you will....why would someone in their right mind NOT feed the baby the bottles of prepared milk & instead prepare their own bottles with formula instead? The only answer I can surmise is that she's a total crazy woman. She asks me & K all the time if we are sure that we are feeding the baby enough. She literally went out and bought her own formula & her own special "nursery" water to prepare her bottles with. Then she tried to hid this from me.
It's becoming a serious problem. In the two times that MIL has watched the baby she has fed him majority formula instead of the prepared bottles of BM left for her. The first day she literally fed him EVERY time he cried which led to him eating every 30-60 mins. (I know because she wrote it all down). This of course led to over-feeding & massive amounts of spit-up. All of which are apparently normal. People....we are not talking about a little spit-up here. She literally went through 7, yes, 7 pairs of PJs in an 8 hour period. That is NOT normal. I don't care whos standards we are going by here. What does K have to say about this? "Well he's not gonna die." Well no shit he's not going to die from drinking formula, but seriously....is he really okay with the blatant defiance of our right as parents to make the choices for OUR child? I'm not. Momma don't play that.
So on that note, how do you lay down the law with people in your baby's life that think they know how to raise your child better then you?
Oh. my. flippin'. goodness. That is CRAZY! I usually roll my eyes and ignore the crazy things that my MIL does, but if she dared go behind my back and ignore my wishes about my child's diet, I would have an absolutely fit. Breastmilk is best. Hands down. Obviously, it isn't available or used by everyone, but if you have it sitting there in a bottle, ready to be fed, then it needs to be eaten... but not every 30 minutes! Good Lord! I would be printing off some studies on the benefits of breastmilk... then I would hand it to her while sweetly saying, "He needs to drink the bottles I have prepared on the schedule I have set. If you are not comfortable with that, I'm happy to hire a babysitter." And I would make good on the hiring-a-babysitter threat. Big hugs, momma!! That is a lot to deal with!
ReplyDeleteGood lord, that is outrageous. I am having some problems related to this topic with my mom, but nothing of that magnitude. Feeding him every 30-60 minutes?
ReplyDeleteLuckily DH and I are on the same page with setting limits for our parents (plus it's really just mine so I guess I'm the one to say stuff to them), but in this case I would start with sitting down with him and letting him know how upset this is making you and that she isn't respecting either of you as parents. He needs to stick up for you and tell her it's your way or nothing.
My MIL can be like this. I always tell her "The doctor said to do it this way..." And she lets it go usually. If that doesnt work MH steps in and tells her to back the he// off. Fortunately he has no problem doing this. GL girl. I cant STAND that!
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