One is Silver & the Other's Gold

Name that tune!!

J/k, but seriously this past few days has definitely shown me something about value. And when I say value, I mean self-worth. Not so much in the way you might think though. I'm not a girl who has a ton of friends, I'm just not. I believe I've mentioned this before in a previous post (Sorry, I'm too lazy to be all cool & go dig it up for you right now), but it's the truth. I don't think I really need to go into my suspicions or best guesses as to why, but that's just how it's always been. I've always been the girl with a few close friends & a ton of acquaintances. Any new friendships that I form tend to be very important to me. I don't let a lot of people get close to me or allow them the opportunity to really know me. Maybe it's a defense mechanism, but when I do let someone in I don't like to easily just let the friendship go. I usually value them & their friendship. I would do anything for them at that point. I would stick by them till the end. Once you are in with me, you're IN. You become that important, that precious.

I've been feeling kind of down lately (for a few reasons I've mentioned), but one in particular that had been bugging me a lot-- I felt tossed aside by a friend & man was it making me a bitter Betty. I guess I still don't really understand what happened there other then a change in priorities, but I'm okay with it now. I realized this weekend that I may have valued that friendship more then she did, but I am not alone. There are people in my life who really do value me & want to spend their time with me.

I have a wonderful best friend; who will stick by me no matter what life throws our way, I have amazing family; who I can share that special mommy-bonding relationship with, & I reconnected with an old friend; who I missed very much & can't wait to spend more time with.

I'd been blaming myself a lot for the failure of the above said friendship, but you know what? I'm pretty sure I'm just being silly & I need to let it go. If she wants to reconnect with me somewhere in the future on a different level I'm here for her, but I can let it get to me anymore. It's not always all about me or something I did or didn't do. She probably doesn't even have any idea I'm feeling this way. So from this point forward, NO MORE. I'm not going to dwell on it. Time to focus my energies on the positive & nurture the other great friendships I currently have in my life.