Growing a Human

Is seriously hard work!

Not that I didn't already know this, but boy am I wiped out. I've been in bed & asleep by 09:30PM the last two night in a row & slept in till at least 8AM both mornings, but I still feel like I could use a nap today. Unfortunately, I still have things to do while C is napping (other then nap myself) so no nap shall be had today. I think I am going to have to start planning better for this in the coming weeks so that I can nap too if I need to. Sigh...

Other then that, nothing out of the ordinary to report thus far. I have the usual low back pain & cramping (mostly in the evening) & occasional bouts of slight nausea, but little else to talk about. I still have a love relationship with food for now & we'll see if that changes or not (like it did with C). I don't think that symptom kicked in for a few more weeks though.

Differences this time around:

-No daily pregnancy tests (I know I'm pregnant)
-Lack of constant anxiety (I know I'm pregnant & until further notice this baby is safe & growing)
-No Betas (I BEGGED for them last time around with C. See the above)
-Likely no EARLY ultrasound. (I would do one if they offered, but I don't need it for security this time around...I haven't even scheduled my first OB appt yet)
-Not buying/wearing maternity clothing early (I don't need to. lol)
-I have NO idea what I think this baby is (I SWORE C was a girl the minute that test showed up positive)

I don't know if these things make me a better parent or worse, but this time really is A LOT different. The symptoms & all that are the same (thus far), but I am in a completely different mind-set emotionally. Last time around I was a WRECK. There is no better or nicer way to put it. Every.single.time I used the restroom I expected to find myself bleeding. The first trimester was a nightmare & I don't feel like I really got to enjoy being pregnant early on since I was so anxious. This time is going way differently. I am so busy with life & taking care of C that time already seems to be passing fairly quickly. The only thing I feel about this little one is excitement for the future. Hearing the heartbeat, seeing the baby on ultrasound, feeling those first movements, & seeing if we are giving C a little brother or a little sister, picking out names, just everything. Last time around, I was OBSESSED with my pregnancy & this time it just IS. That does make me feel a little bit bad, but I know that I love this baby just as much as I did Carter, even if I am not freaking out over him/her. It still feels very surreal to us & it's still sinking in, but I am sure it will feel more real soon.