I started this post last night (on my phone) while feeding the baby & feeling quite down. It wasn't going to be a happy post. I couldn't even finish it before I became too tired to see & called it for the night.
I had intended to wrap presents last night, to finish Christmas cards, to wash some clothes & just be alone for a bit. I had intended to do a lot of things...unfortunately, I have a 2 year old who refuses to go to sleep before 10pm & an infant who usually needs to get one last feeding in just about that time. To say that I was not worn out & frustrated would be a lie. I almost hesitated to hit the publish button on this post because these are the type of nights where I feel like a failure. Like I am literally failing as a mother. Why can't I get my toddler to sleep? Why isn't my *almost* 2 month old on some glorious schedule? How come this seems so easy for everyone else? But, honestly this is my REAL life. Staying up trying to get both kids to sleep & ending up passing out myself worn out & out of patience. The days that end where I didn't have a single second to myself...sometimes this is the reality. The type of day filled with endless tantrums & a fussy baby, a day where dinner is on the table late & I can barely squeeze in two minutes to go to the bathroom alone.
And then, there are days like today where the baby naps & the toddler is an angel (despite not napping) & they are both gloriously in bed by 8PM & the baby is still sleeping at 11. The days where everything falls into place & I feel totally on top of my game. A day where the laundry gets done & dinner is on time, presents get wrapped & where I even get to sit down to watch a favorite TV show. A day that I have time to write a blog.
Motherhood is an amazing thing & it still astonishes me that each day can be so much different then the last. On a day like yesterday (and there are a lot of them) I need to remember the days like today. They do happen, they will happen. And the perfect days may be fewer & farther between then the imperfect days, but I do so appreciate them all. Thank you lord for today& for the reminder. The reminder that every day is a blessed day. Good, bad or in-between.
great post! I feel the same exact way. Last night was a late dinner/kids to bed late/no time with the husband/ and baby up all night, night for me :/ So I feel ya!
ReplyDeleteIt's always nice to hear that someone can relate. I know we all have those days, but when you're in the middle of one it's kind of hard to remember that you aren't alone. =)
DeleteIt's nice for someone to voice the hard parts of motherhood, especially in the first couple of months. It can be hard but it's such a blessing when both children cooperate. Sometimes Chloe flat out refuses to nap, to eat, to do anything but say no and throw tantrums and most of the time that ends up being the same day that the baby sleeps terribly - not even wanting to eat but just crying because he dropped his pacifier for the 100th time. It's tough. But it's worth it. And it's always good to know other people are powering through the same things as us. Keep going mama, you're doing a great job
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